honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
