just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
