dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
