Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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