girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
