Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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