Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
