I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
