Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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