I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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