Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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