Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
