did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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