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They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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