JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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