Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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