Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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