why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize