He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
