brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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