The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
How's work?
Spinning.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
