Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
