she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
