Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
