Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I love you.
Bad choice
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
