If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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