Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize