Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
