Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
