I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
