The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Randomize
