I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
