whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
