It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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