hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
