When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
