# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
