do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
