I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
