great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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