my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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