You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
