Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
