chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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