Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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