its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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