Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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