Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
someone get that fucking seahorse.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize