none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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