id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
