she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize