her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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