and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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