Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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