What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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