and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
