It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
