His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
