if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
