I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
