She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize