I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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