This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
