And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize
