You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
