I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
