I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
