we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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