can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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