I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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